I'm sorry again for waking you when I called. I hope you can understand my concern about what you said in your last letter. And I hope that you really will contact someone on that forum of yours to discuss it. I can't bear the thought of you doing anything to hurt yourself and I know that Orlando would be devastated if you did such a thing. I honestly think it would kill him to lose you, Shy. I know how much he loves me and I could get him through almost anything, but that... Oh, baby, please don't ever let us have to find out what we would do if we lost you.
I read about the things that Kevin did to you and want you to know that if he wasn't dead, I would rip him apart with my bare hands and make him suffer in ways I never thought about before. I'm so angry and I'm so sorry. You're right, you know. If I could have died the day he attacked me to stop what happened to you, I would go back and do it. You're right. Orlando would have been able to move on, especially if he'd met you afterwards. You are the one person in this world that I know could keep Orlando happy if anything ever happened to me. I suppose this means that the both of us are perfect for him, aren't we?
Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, sweetheart. I haven't been sleeping well lately and I've been drinking a bit too much. It's silly and I need to get my act together so I can be here for you when you need me to be. And I don't mean to go on about myself at a time like this. Forgive me.
I love you, Shy. I'm going to let you go for now and look forward to your next letter.
All my love,
I'm glad you called. Sorry I worried you. I also didn't mean to get your hopes up. When I say I love you and stuff I don't mean the way I love Orlando. I mean the way I love Tom or my mum or something. Just wanted to get that straight.
I don't know what else to say. Guess you want me to tell you that you can come home soon. Give me a little more time.
Your last letter was rather curt and I'm wondering what's going on? Can I please call you? Or you call me? Something? I don't understand the change of face on your part.
I don't want to talk to you. If you really care about me you'll leave it at that.
Okay, that's fine. I suppose this means no more letters?