The holidays are a very stressful time. That's what I always hear people saying, and I figure it must be true, right? Wrong! Okay, fine, it's stressful for people who have a ton of things to do and feel like they don't have enough time to do it. But I love that kind of stress. I used to love having deadlines and rushing to get things done when things didn't go as planned. Yes, I'm a careful man and I plan things to the letter, but those moments when something goes wrong and I have to jump into action in order to get things done are the ones I live for. The holidays are simply moments like those all strung together until we get to breathe a sigh of relief on the 26th of December.
This year is going to be strange for me as far as the holidays go. I still haven't received word from Shy about Thanksgiving and I don't want to push him for an answer. The thing is, Thanksgiving can determine how Christmas will go, and I need to spend the holiday with my husband. I've been doing some shopping and I have a lot of gifts bought already. The twins are going to be getting things from me even though Ann and Helene said that I didn't have to feel obligated to give them anything. I asked Mom if that was code for them wanting me to butt out, and she assured me I could take it at face value.
Allow me to go off on a tangent about my mother and the twins for a moment. I had a lot of fears that Ann and Helene would shut out Mom when it came time for boundaries to be formed. I've already signed over my parental rights, so I never expect to be allowed to see them or send them things. But Mom thinks of herself as Grandma, end of story. No matter how much I explained to her that I was a sperm donor and nothing more, she wouldn't have it. She said that I would most likely never father any more children and she was going to take full advantage of spoiling Rebecca and Jared. I was honestly very worried that her heart would be broken when Ann and Helene told her that she wasn't welcome in the twins' lives. Well, it appears that my worries were for naught. Not only have Ann and Helene fully embraced my mother as a part of the twins' lives, but they've adopted her as a mother figure in their own lives. I swear I'd be jealous if it wasn't so darn sweet and didn't make her so happy. Mom says that she's always been fond of the girls but that knowing they're raising two little pieces of me made her fall in love with them. That's when I asked her if this was her way of coming out and she told me to behave and be serious. So, she's Grandma to Becca and Jarhead and is over the moon for those two sweeties. I have to admit that even I get a kick out of Ann putting them in front of the webcam and sending me vids of them. I don't feel anything fatherly towards them, which is really for the best considering the circumstances, but I feel a tremendous amount of pride that I had something to do with them existing. For the record, Ann and I made a couple of beautiful babies. No, I don't have pictures to share because, honestly, no one is as interested in other people's kids as they are their own and it's only politeness that makes us feign interest. Even writing this, I don't expect anyone to really give a damn except for Orlando, and that's because one day I could be talking about Mom being a Grandma to one of our own little miracles. Okay, that's enough about kids.
Back to my point about holiday stress. Actually, there wasn't much left to say but BRING IT ON!
That was lame, I know. Leave me alone. It's the holidays.