Will Porter (will_porter) wrote,
Will Porter

Thinking about things

Jared and Rebecca are going to be one in sixteen days. They have no idea how cold and cruel the world can be. They don't know how easy it is to lose something or someone important because things aren't always fair. I hope that they can spend as much time as possible thinking the world is a magical place where all of their dreams come true.

I won't be able to go to Hartford to see them for their birthday. Ann and Helene understand. I finally broke down and told Mom and Pete what's happened, and Mom told the lesbians. Peter volunteered to come up, but I told him that if he could keep an eye out and call in some favors, that would help us even more. I'm starting to feel kind of numb to it all, but then I think about the twins and how I can't keep them safe any more than I could keep Shy safe. That's when I start to feel angry.

How can I have the gall to think Orli and I should have kids? There's no guarantee that we'll be able to take care of them. Do you know how many awful things can happen? Are we crazy for thinking we could one day be parents? I'm not even sure if I should continue trying to be a husband. It's a joke. What kind of man can't even keep his family safe?
Tags: jared, lesbians, mom, orlando, peter, rebecca, shy
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