How do I put this delicately?
I'm really horny.
I'm having sex with one person who's having sex with two people and I never noticed before just how often I turned to Orli for a little slap and tickle throughout the day. But if I keep it up - god, no pun intended - the way we did before, he'd be exhausted or would have to neglect Shy. I can't do that to either of them because it's a huge deal that Shy wants to be with him.
I'm not complaining, just becoming more aware of things and one of those things is the fact that before, if something turned me on, I could always run to Orli and work off some steam. But how do I work off steam if he's otherwise engaged? Well, I know how to work it off, but maybe it's not normal to want to have sex all the time. How can I possibly be hornier now than ever before? Is it the stress? Is it hearing Shy and Orli when they're together? Is it the fact that we have to have safe sex and that's making both of us do it less often with one another? Like some sort of subconscious thing? I think it's going to be one of the first things I ask Graeme when I see him. I'm praying more than ever now that he's unattractive. I love Orlando completely. I love Shy. But a good looking man in a commercial just gave me a stiffy and now I need to go diddle. If I have a good looking therapist, I'm doomed. Who am I kidding? He doesn't even have to be all that good looking. David was an older sort of gentleman with a kindly demeanor and a sweet face and there were times I wouldn't have minded a little JO session in lieu of me talking about my problems. It must be that authority or the understanding or something. Or the sexy phone voice he has. God damn it!!!
I'm going for a run. It's nice and cold outside. And if Orli's free when I get home, I'm going to rip off his clothes.
ETA: I just found a picture of Dr. Graeme Burditt. I'm going to cry. How the hell did
Please let him be straight and married. With a bunch of kids. And ethics coming out the ass. Which is probably a really sexy ass that looks amazing in the trousers he wears.
I've cheated on Orlando once. I would never do it again. But there are times I can see the appeal of an open marriage. Oh god, just kill me.
I need a hammer so I can hit myself in the head with it.