Will Porter (will_porter) wrote,
Will Porter
will_porter

Emails

ooc: The last of it. After Will's last email this happened.


To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: no more letters

Just let it go Will. I'll let you know when you can come home. Can you leave it alone now?

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

No, I can't leave it alone. WTF happened? I thought we were making progress.

*****

To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

Why? Because I don't hate you anymore?

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

That's part of it, yes. Another part is that you said you love me and I don't buy for one second that it's the way you love your friends and your family.

*****

To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

You woke me up. I wasn't thinking straight. I don't think it's going to work for us in a romantic sense. But I'm married to Orlando and I plan on staying that way. Sorry.

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

I guess there's nothing left to say. Thanks for letting me know. When can I come back to my home?

*****

To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

You can come back to our home when I'm ready.

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

Why are you trying to hurt me? Did you really believe that I had anything to do with Kevin taking you from our home?

*****

To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

I know you didn't. Orlando convinced me of that. I just don't feel anything for you anymore. When I was with Kevin I only missed Orli. Sorry if that hurts your feelings.

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

Orlando had to convince you? It wasn't enough that I had given you my word?

And, honestly, Shy, if you were really sorry for making me feel like shit, you wouldn't have said anything at all. I'm not going to tell Orlando about any of this because I don't want to upset him. You and I are right back where we started, except I don't think that this time things will get to where they were before Kevin took you. I will be civil to you because we have to live together. You will be civil to me for the same reason. If you want to tell Orlando that you're still too emotionally fragile to handle having a relationship with me, that's fine. I'll play along. But I will not have you upsetting him by telling him that you want nothing to do with me. He loves you and needs you, yes, but he also loves and needs me. I'm willing to hide my feelings from him because I love him. I hope you can do the same.

I feel like such a fool, Shy. Not only did I allow you to come into our lives and take my husband away from me, but I fell in love with you and actually thought you felt the same way. I know that Kevin put you through hell, but I don't believe for a second that he could make you shut me out so completely. The only answer must be that you played me. Congratulations.

*****

To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

Yeah I'll go along with that. Sure you'll be able to live with us without getting jealous? I don't want you acting like a jerk or anything.

And I've gotta come clean. I tried to make myself fall for you to make Orlando happy. I thought I had. Turned out I hadn't.

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

Jealous? Don't worry about that, sweetheart. I admit that I used to be extremely jealous of you, but the fact is that I know how much more important I am to Orlando than you are. I am his husband. You are someone posing as his husband until you get bored and decide to move on. Don't worry, when you do that, I'll be sure and make sure you pay the proper price for hurting the man I love.

So, no, I won't be jealous of the two of you. Orlando is mine, end of story.

*****

To: will_porter@livejournal.com
From: shyboy86@livejournal.com


Subject: RE: no more letters

Too late to ask you not to be a jerk. Nice threats too by the way. That was really shitty of you to say. All of it. Don't fucking write back.

*****

To: shyboy86@livejournal.com
From: will_porter@livejournal.com


Subject: I'm sorry

You won't read this, fine. But I am sorry, Shy. I was out of line. I won't ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it and I wouldn't get it, anyway. I had no right to say what I did.

I love you and I can't stop just because you've decided you can't love me. I know you don't care that you've broken my heart, but, please, I can't let you break Orlando's. Do you know how happy he was that you and I had fallen in love? I thought we had, anyway. I don't know how you could have been the way you were with me if you didn't love me. It was real, Shy, I know it was. Please, sweetheart, please just give it some time before you shut me out. I don't want to believe that what we had is over before it ever really had a chance.

I love you, Shy. I'm sorry for the cruel things I said to you before and I regret making you feel angry or threatened. I just want our family back. I want the three of us to be happy together. We were on the verge of that when Kevin came around and I will hate him forever for ruining that for us.

I'm not even sure why I'm going on like this when I know you're not going to read it, but I have to get it out in the hopes that you'll change your mind and open this.

I love you, Shy. I love you and I want you and when I lie awake at night, I can't help missing your touch just as much as I miss Orlando's. I need the both of you, sweetheart. Give me a chance to prove it.

W
Tags: emails, orlando, shy
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments