Will Porter (will_porter) wrote,
Will Porter
will_porter

Meme from jason_locke




Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

will_porter is being stalked on Livejournal!

orlandomuse is stalking will_porter
orlandomuse's REAL name :Rodriguez Vogelsanger
orlandomuse's REAL DOB :29th August 1976
Height :197 cmWeight : 108.7 kg
orlandomuse has dreamt about you : 24 times
orlandomuse became interested in you : 17th August 2004
orlandomuse's latest dream about you
will_porter is awoken by the heavy breathing of orlandomuse who is sitting on your bed stroking a fat ginger cat. Your stalker winks at you and pat's you on the groin whilst you attempt to cower in horror beneath your bed linen.
This is how orlandomuse describes your relationship behind your back
'We'll be together forever. I know it. I can feel it in my heart. Thing's have never been better between me and will_porter!'
orlandomuse's been stealing stuff from your house too.
orlandomuse enjoys nothing more than to start the morning by taking a heroic sniff from one of will_porter's stolen socks.
They've even started modifying their body for you
orlandomuse took a bit far when they gouged your name into their arm with a tablespoon.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Be mine forever and I'll promise to never fart whilst you are eating your dinner.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 10 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"I've had enough of this. You know orlandomuse, that crazed internet stalker you've been after for the last 6 months, well they've been stalking me too. They were just over at my house there not so long ago and threatened to come back and burn down my house."
orlandomuse's Police File
orlandomuse is a sadistic cold-blooded killer who preys on the countryside looking for barnyard animals to mowdown in their people carrier.

Testimonies about orlandomuse
shaman_x - Geek isn't the word
'I always suspected orlandomuse was a little weird, but never THIS weird.'
shifterschuyler - Nosy old hen
'Jesus fuck! You've got to be joking?!??! orlandomuse? A pervert? It's quite funny now I think about it. What an idiot!'
thekidsis - Rotten heathen
'I would not piss on orlandomuse if they were on fire.'

Tags: meme 08
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